I am reading a book "learning in relationship" by Ronald R. Short.
It’s a required reading for my certification on using an EQ assessment tool.
EQ is Emotional Intelligence. This EQ assessment tool opens great conversations between me and a new coaching client. It takes my client going deeper when reflecting his thoughts, wants and feelings.
One thing particularly got me attention today while reading the book was – how often I use Outside language instead of Inside language in my daily life.
The book defines Outside language as talking by referring outside objects or people. This communication pattern tends to be judgmental and arguable. Inside language is defined as language beginning with the pronoun "I". It describers what goes on in "me" now.
For example, Outside language – "You are so artistic" vs. Inside language – "I love your art work".
I wonder if I use more inside language to reflect what I think, want and feel, would I invite more real conversations from others?