Dr. Seuss says: “Today you are YOU that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is YOUER than YOU.”
This statement speaks a truth that we tend to overlook; i.e.; embracing who we are.
Do you have the experience that people didn’t like how they looked in a photo and you thought they looked just fine? From time to time, I have the same thought about my own photos since I believed that I could look better.
It is understandable to have the thought that I could be better. We often have certain expectations about ourselves and wish we could be better, wiser and happier. What about acknowledging who we are? Could you tell yourself that you are smart, capable and happy with who you are? Some people might have a difficult time doing that. That’s the reason why Marianne Williamson touched many hearts; “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”
Usually we focus on our weaknesses and want to fix it or avoid it. The fact is that self-doubt is inevitable for human beings. The question “Am I good enough” comes up when we are challenged or under stress. For some people, this question occurs too often and impacts their self-confidence and leadership. This is the time that having some emotional intelligence (EI) knowledge would help to raise self-awareness and enhance self-confidence.
From an EI point of view, when someone is under stress, he often revisits his experience when he learned how to protect himself at a young age. Secure kids learned to trust and are more capable to honor interdependence. Insecure children learned that they needed to take care of themselves and became independent. Anxious children learned they were not worthy of being loved since they couldn’t get their parents’ attention. They think “you are ok but I am not” and they are fearful of risk.
Attachment theory can be used to explain this topic. John Bowlby, MD described the attachment theory as follows; if a care taker was emotionally available for the children, those children would be less likely to experience fear. Daniel Siegel used Mindsight theory to explain the capacity of parents. If parents have the capacity to stay calm with a fussy baby; they can respond to the baby’s external behavior, understand the mind of the baby and communicate in a way that will promote secure attachment. The good news is that you can grow your EI through personal development work.
Noticing a childhood impact to your EI and acknowledging the humanity of having the essential feelings of fear, anxiety, sadness, shame and anger; could you see who you are beyond the doubts? Becoming you means being comfortable with the person that you are, knowing your strengths and weaknesses and embracing yourself. You will become an empowering leader through this process.
Becoming You; the First Step of Leadership – Management & operations
Marianne Williamson wrote: “And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”